I haven’t written for a while and it disappoints me. I feel like I’ve left a part of me behind. I stopped writing because I was trying to focus on a different aspect of my life but I realise that without it I’m left unfulfilled. The problem is, then, the decisions that I have to make about what is truly important to me and what isn’t.
Now decisions scare me and I’m sure they can be daunting to some of you as well. No matter how much we study and plan we can still only have a minute understanding of the ramifications of our actions. If you are like me and plagued more by an excess of options rather than a limitation of them this can be particularly worrisome. How do I know if I’m making the right choice? How do I know that what I choose to do with my time now will leave me happiest in the long run? The answer is that we can’t know. We just have to improve ourselves the best we can and choose what we think is likely to leave us the most satisfied.
The most important thing to remember, therefore, is the importance of time. Time is the most precious resource we have and if we waste it we have absolutely no way of getting it back (well unless science finds a way of sticking our brains into machines but I don’t like to speculate too much). We need to use time wisely while still not being paralysed by the fear of losing it. In the last few weeks I was too terrified about what my future would hold to really take stock of what was important to me and so my writing suffered and my feeling of self worth suffered.
Now I’m not telling you this to try to lecture you into working harder or doing anything you don’t want to do. I’m writing this just to remind you that once you lose something from your life entirely it is very hard to get back. So maybe it’s worthwhile to occasionally take stock of your life and try deciding what it is that you want to spend your time on and what you can bear to let slip away.
For me this means letting a few things slide in order to get back to writing. I might have to cut back on my fitness goals or my down time. All I know is that I have to keep trying to make time to do the things that make me truly happy.