In writing, no matter what it is you write, what subject or style you choose, you are offered one glorious opportunity; the opportunity to live the experiences that have been missed or that passed by too quickly. We can choose, even if only for a paragraph, a line or phrase a new life in which we made different decisions and led different lives. Sometimes very different indeed.
For me, as with for many others, life has been filled with niggling regrets. What if I had acted differently? What if I had had time to think of something else to say? How would my life be now? It is one of the major reasons I chose to write; it has, and will, give me the opportunity to be a different person and feel what it is like to experience all the things which I feel I have missed out on in life. By this I don’t mean experiences of tangible luxury but rather the more bittersweet longing of true emotion. I may read a novel or see a play or movie and feel disappointment that such an emotion is closed to me but, by writing, I can feel joy in knowing that I can take the feelings that are evoked and transfer them the page.
That is the real beauty of writing,it is pure self-pandering creation. Entire worlds can be created in which you can wander. Worlds which may not be that dissimilar from the one you live in but which contain slight differences allowing for the overwhelming wash of new and exciting emotion.
Life is convoluted, it is confusing and because of this we often make rash decisions which permanently alter our lives and what we may experience from then on out. The important thing is not to feel trapped by this but rather embrace it. You are creating your own story, your own journey. All the while you may see the journey of those around you and be envious but in the end they would not fit, in the end it may be better to persevere in the little spot allocated to you in this reality, the spot you chose and nurtured.
However, when those feelings of regret rise up within us we must not forget that we have our imagination to soften the blow. We are able to put ourselves in the places of others and experience the lives that have been closed off to us. For this we watch movies, for this we read and for this we write. In terms of this blog that is what is most important. Because yes writing is a way to share yourself with others, to express emotion, but it is also something far more personal. Writing is also a way to feel the emotions which you have always felt drawn to, to experience an emotion which you may have felt once in your life but now want to feel more fully and expansively. Above all writing is cathartic. It is a healthy release of emotion. We can feel and experience that which is missing from our lives in a way not otherwise open to us without radically altering them.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t write for others and the approval or respect thereof, but rather write for yourself and for the child you used to be who imagined the countless different ways in which his or her life would unfold; through writing you can live those lives and twist and turn them any way you please.